Happy Halloween! And welcome to the midway point of the 2024 NFL regular season. I must say I’m a bit sad we’re already halfway done. I must also say I’m a lot sad we’re stuck watching these primetime Jets again.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Hello Darkness My Old Friend Bowl!

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on which team dresses best. And just because a team is ranked higher in the Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings doesn’t mean it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

Looking back at Week 8.

Baby steps. But headed in the right direction. 9-7 on the week. 60-62-1 on the year.

Thursday Night Football Uniform Matchup.

I said last week I’m not an anti-blackout uniform person. But that certainly doesn’t mean I like all blackout uniforms. There’s nuance to this. And the Jets blackout uniform just doesn’t do it for me - especially when you consider that a green version of their Classic uniform is sitting right there to take its place. Plus it feels wrong to drown out* that glorious shade of green. Would’ve liked to see the Texans try red pants with this ensemble. But I’m thankful they saved us from a dark and dreary affair. Houston it is.

This Jets season has gone completely off the rails. But continuing the theme from last week, this feels like a trap game (and Vegas seems to agree with the Texans being underdogs). But the once mighty Jets defense is a shell of itself. And they are especially vulnerable on the ground. With CJ Stroud now without both Nico Collins and Stefon Diggs, I expect this to be a big Joe Mixon game. Factoring in the ineptitude of the Jets offense and the Texans defense being Top 10 in EPA per play, sack rate, and interception rate, I’m starting to feel better about Houston springing this trap and surviving.

*The biggest difference between whiteout uniforms and blackout uniforms: white allows other colors to pop and be the star(s) of the show whereas black tends to steal the spotlight. This is applicable to both the individual uniform and the overall uniform matchup.

The Pick: Texans +1.5

Club SDR - Week 9 Player Props.

Tee Higgins was a scratch following his Friday injury. And White Bengal finally failed to give us a clean sweep. 1-1-1 on the week. And 11-12-1 on the year.

Jonnu Smith - Over 2.5 Receptions

After a somewhat slow start, Smith has become fantasy relevant in this Dolphins offense averaging 7 targets and 5 receptions over his last three games. Considering the Bills are giving up the sixth most receptions to opposing tight ends, I expect this run of relevancy to continue.

Jayden Daniels - Over 45.5 Rushing Yards

The rookie sensation has been nothing short of an electric factory. And the Giants are Bottom 5 in rushing yards allowed to opposing quarterbacks. Daniels was just short of the number with 44 rushing yards in his first game against New York. But that was with a yards per attempt total (4.4) more than a yard below his season average (5.7).

DJ Moore - Over 56.5 Receiving Yards

It’s been an underwhelming start of the season for Moore. So this Cardinals pass defense - Bottom 10 in EPA per pass and receiving yards allowed to opposing wide receivers - is just what the doctor ordered.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

Uniform graphics seen here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

You know the drill. Full Week 9 Slate drops Sunday morning.

Subscribe and share this newsletter far and wide. And always remember: Look Good. Feel Good. Pay Good.