Welcome to Thursday Night Football where we’ve got a doozy between the Bucs and Falcons. Tampa Bay has docked their pirate ship in Lake Lanier. And Atlanta is breaking out their throwbacks for the second week in a row. As much as I love that old Falcon logo in a nostalgic way, can we all acknowledge that it has a turtle face?

Ladies and gentlemen, the Tortuga Bowl!

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on which team dresses best. And just because a team is ranked higher in the Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings doesn’t mean it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

Looking back at Week 4.

Slight improvement at 7-9 on the week. But never going to right the ship losing more than winning. 29-35 to date. Time to break through with a stacked uniform slate.

Thursday Night Football Uniform Matchup.

Any other week, this one is right up there for the top spot. But Bucs-Falcons doesn’t even make my podium* in a loaded Week 5. I score this one as a virtual tie, but I’ll show deference to the throwback and Triple Mismatch Club royalty that is the Falcons in red-black-white (plus bonus points to Atlanta for wearing it two weeks in a row).

Kirk Cousins and the Falcons keep pulling rabbits out of their hats when it counts. And outside of an egg laying against the Broncos, the Bucs have been one of the most impressive teams in the first quarter of the season. Winner** of this one leaves atop the NFC South. I’m content to roll with the home team, but this is a textbook divisional dice roll.

*When a sharp uniform matchup isn’t cracking the Top 3, that’s a good problem to have.

**Tie incoming.

The Pick: Falcons -1.5

Club SDR - Week 5 Player Props.

That’s more like it. 3-0 on the week. And back to .500 at 6-6 on the season.

Ja’Marr Chase - Over 74.5 Receiving Yards

In seven career games against the Ravens, Ja’Marr has averaged 84 receiving yards. Factor in his clearing the number the last two weeks (for an average of 100 receiving yards per game), and I’m liking what I’m seeing.

Travis Etienne - Over 55.5 Rushing Yards

Quiet - if not downright disappointing - season from ETN so far. Fortunately for him, the Colts and their AFC-worst run defense are coming to town. With Indy giving up 165 rushing yards per game and the Jags rocking their glorious throwbacks, no excuse to fall short.

CJ Stroud - Over 1.5 Passing Touchdowns

No rocket science with this one. Stroud has cleared the number in half of the games this season. But this is purely a vibes play with the debut of the H-Town blues.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

Uniform graphics seen here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

You know the drill. Full Week 5 Slate drops Sunday morning (a little earlier this week with our first London game).

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