2024 is over. But we’ve got one more day of the 2024 NFL regular season. Let’s send it - and the 18 teams not advancing to the dance - out in style.

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on who dresses best. And just because a team is ranked higher in the Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings doesn’t mean it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

Week 18 Uniform Matchups and Picks.

Let the Texans-Titans Oilers discourse commence. Setting aside the hurt feelings and pettiness (which I always appreciate in any rivalry), this is a great uniform matchup. Dare I say, if it wasn’t for the pure nostalgia effect of the ultimate winner, the Texans-Titans Oilers showdown might’ve taken home best of the week for the second year in a row.* Titans/Oilers take the cake.

As much as I’m looking forward to this uniform matchup, the game itself leaves much to be desired. Houston is limping into the playoffs and Tennessee has one eye** on the draft order. Oilers unis didn’t get it done against Houston last year. Second time’s a charm.

*This year’s iteration is even better than last year’s with a Texans look that can’t stop growing on me.

**Other eye should be looking inward asking why they fired Mike Vrabel.

The Pick: Titans -1.5

Well, would you look at that? Despite already logging three alternate games* this season, the Eagles blackouts are back. Black helmet** and all. Giants continue to underwhelm in comparison. So fly Eagles fly.

Kudos to the Eagles and Saquon for keeping their eyes on the prize and not chasing Dickerson’s record in Game 17. Plus this ensures he goes into Club 2000 with the fourth best yards per attempt count (behind only Barry Sanders, Adrian Peterson, and OJ Simpson). The game is meaningless outside of New York’s draft position. Oblige them, Philadelphia.

*As guessed in the beginning of the season, it appears the Birds were granted an exemption from the league’s alternate rules for the Brazil game, which allowed Philly to fully rock the team colors of Corinthians while playing as the home team in their stadium. Never forget that the NFL uniform policy is like the Pirate’s Code - more guidelines than actual rules. Here’s to more sensible bending of those guidelines in the future.

**Midnight green helmet with black jersey and pants always drove me nuts. Something about the shade just slightly being off. Black helmet fully corrects the issue and gives the Eagles a bona fide case for best blackout in the league.

The Pick: Eagles -2.5

Uniform matchups and football games don’t get much more classic than Bears-Packers. And we’re all better off for it. Holding out hope that Chicago surprises us with white jersey-white pants for the first time since 2009. But I won’t hold my breath. Green Bay it is.

Chicago is trying to avoid closing the season with 11 straight losses. But to do so, they’re going to need to overcome a Packers team that should still go all out with playoff seeding on the line. The Bears have been soulless husks since the Thanksgiving clock debacle in Detroit. I don’t think that changes now.

The Pick: Packers -9.5

NOTE - the Bears have yet to reveal their choice of pants.

The Cowboys in blue never disappoint. But the Commanders in white completely and consistently miss the mark.* Uniform matchups don’t get much more lopsided. Dallas all the way.

The Cowboys are out of it, and the Commanders still have playoff seeding to play for. But I don’t expect Dallas to just roll over. Plus I’ll never say no to points at home in a divisional game.

*Gold pants won’t fix the unfixable flaws of the white jersey. But I’m still rooting for Washington to give the combo a try. Can’t be worse than burgundy or white pants. Plus would’ve made for an intriguing color combo here.

The Pick: Cowboys +7

After a sharp uniform matchup two weeks ago, the Bills and Patriots are following it up with another well dressed affair. Buffalo boasts one of the best whiteout looks in the league. And the Pats wardrobe finally clicked with consistent use of silver pants. Giving the edge to the Bills.

New England is in the driver’s seat for the first pick in the draft. While I expect everyone on the field to give it their all, my gut tells me that Week 18 won’t knock the Patriots from their bottom dwelling perch.

The Pick: Bills -3.5

It’s official. The Saints did not wear primary gold-black-gold this season. As if this rudderless wardrobe couldn’t be any more lost at sea. On the other side, the Bucs are a model aesthetic franchise. Elite primaries. Elite throwback. And something else that’s official: no pewter bodysuit this year. That’s a flawless wardrobe season for the 2024 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And an easy choice here.

Win and in situation for the Bucs (plus some seeding intrigue). And there’s no excuse to drop one against the lowly Saints. In other news, Mike Evans is 85 receiving yards away from the 11th straight 1,000-yard receiving season to start his career. I’m respectfully requesting the Bucs to get their wardrobe in the dance and their GOAT receiver over the record-breaking threshold.

The Pick: Buccaneers -14

Please join me in rooting for this to be the last time we see this Jags primary wardrobe.* Timeless and classic Colts in a landslide.

Arguably the bleakest game on the slate. Likely Doug Pederson’s curtain call. But at least the Jags have a positive outlook with Trevor Lawrence, Brian Thomas, and some pieces on defense. Chris Ballard and Shane Steichen are scrambling to keep their names off a Black Monday chyron. And even if they get to stick around, this Indy team feels firmly stuck in NFL purgatory. Let’s see if Joe Flacco can at least send us out with a Colts cover.

*Still modern classic manifesting over here.

The Pick: Colts -3.5

For the second time in franchise history and the first time since 1998, the Panthers are going silver-white-silver. It’s not my favorite uniform in Carolina’s wardrobe, but I continue to appreciate their willingness to mix things up in the combo department. And they’re the no-brainer choice against the Falcons in one of my least favorite blackouts.

The Bryce Young Renaissance has been one of the best storylines of the season. And the only thing that can make it better is playing spoiler on the road to ruin a playoff chance for a rival.

The Pick: Panthers +7.5

Chargers at Raiders never disappoints. Los Angeles whiteout - with its powder blue and yellow accents - pairs wonderfully with the classic home look of the Raiders. And the Chargers are the pick.

Here’s to the Raiders turning things around. We need the Silver and Black in more marquee games and - by extension - marquee uniform matchups. But for now, they’re as lost as they’ve ever been. With the five seed there for the taking, Harbaugh will loose the hounds on this Raiders team.

The Pick: Chargers -6.5

Yellow pants for the Rams and I would’ve been intrigued by this one (flaws and all). But the blue bodysuit leaves some much needed contrast on the table. Kudos to the Seahawks for saving us from blue overload with the white pants. And Seattle gets the nod as a result.

Rams still playing for seeding, but Sean McVay isn’t taking any chances. With Jimmy G under center and other second stringers getting work for Los Angeles, you’d think Seattle should cruise. But it’s never that simple.

The Pick: Seahawks -6.5

One of the most lopsided uniform matchups of the week. Niners look glorious in their primary road uniform. And the Cardinals red unitard continues to overstay its welcome.* San Fran in an aesthetic boat race.

The Passtronaut back in Arizona for a revenge game? Say less.

*Still no red jersey-white pants combo from the Cardinals in this wardrobe. Drop in the Power Rankings incoming.

The Pick: 49ers +4.5

Dolphins and Jets running back the exact same uniform matchup from Week 14. So no need to rehash things. New York still the pick. But my takeaway from this season is that I’m too high on the Jets and too low on the Dolphins.

Dolphins are a win and a Broncos loss away from pulling off a miracle run from 2-6 to the playoffs. Jets made it to overtime but failed to spoil the Dolphins back in Week 14. With a chance to slam the door on their division rival, I expect another close fight. And ideally another cover.

The Pick: Jets -0.5

Oh, what could’ve been. Was zealously advocating for the Winter Warrior Vikings against the blue-black-blue Motor City Muscle Lions. But we’ll have to settle for the white jersey-white pants Vikings against the black unitard Lions. All things considered, I’d say Minnesota still understood the assignment.* But this Detroit alternate cannot make the best-in-the-league shortlist until they work in blue pants. Need to send a message to the unitard-obsessed Lions. No choice but to give the game of the year nod to the visiting Vikings.

I’m ready to say it. I’ve never been more excited for a regular season game. Last showdown of the season. Two 14 win teams. Division rivals. Winner gets the one seed and a bye. Loser gets the five seed and a road trip on Wild Card Weekend. The stakes could not be higher. And the teams could not be more likable. Can’t think of a neutral fan that wouldn’t be thrilled to see either of these teams make it all the way. The victor here takes a big step closer to making that happen. And the loser (and their fanbase) will be shrieking about the NFL’s playoff format from postgame until the end of time. I don’t even care about the spread here. Just going to sit back and appreciate how good we have it.

*Purple-white-white is an excellent color combo overall and my favorite primary uniform combo in the Vikings current wardrobe. White masks, Northmen on the sleeves, and removal of negative space nightmares from the number font and we’d be cooking with gas.

The Pick: Vikings +3

Worst NFL Uniform Matchup of Week 18.

Looking over the Week 18 slate, I was struck with a familiar feeling from this season: there isn’t a truly worthy worst of the week uniform matchup. And that’s a credit to the ever-improving NFL aesthetic. Looking at where things were in the 2019 season, it’s incredible how much progress has been made in just five years. Still plenty of things to fix but the future is bright and we’re clearly heading in the right direction.

Would usually stop doing worst of the week matchups when the playoffs arrive. But as a tip of the cap to the aesthetic success of the 2024 regular season, I’m imposing the moratorium a week early.

Best NFL Uniform Matchup of Week 18.

Nostalgia bomb incoming. We still don’t know the Chiefs choice of pants. White pants are my personal preference. And red pants here could further support Kansas City’s case as the Kings of Clash. But even if that’s the direction they go, I can’t deny this one the top spot. The stakes of the game, those fantastic Orange Crush throwbacks, and my submission for best field design of the season. Plus the blue helmet and blue accents of the Broncos ultimately cut through any clash from Chiefs red pants (saving this one from a Chiefs-Browns or Chiefs-Bengals situation).

Wentz versus Nix with a Denver playoff berth on the line. Just as we all predicted. With backups for the Chiefs and must-win nerves for the Broncos, your guess is as good as mine for our over chances. But, as always, in the Uniform Gods we trust.

The Pick: Over 40.5

NOTE - the Chiefs have yet to reveal their choice of pants. As noted above, personally rooting for white pants to avoid red pants-orange jersey clash. But my guess is red. Broncos blue saves the day regardless. If the Chiefs do surprise us with white pants, I wouldn’t be opposed to gray masks also making an appearance.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

Uniform graphics seen here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

Let the dance begin. Wild Card Weekend arrives on Saturday.

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