Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals. We’ve got NFL football on a Wednesday - and on Netflix to boot. I didn’t have the company that used to send us DVDs in the mail as the vessel to provide us football on Christmas Day. But life comes at you fast. And I’m certainly not complaining (at least until the buffering starts). Let the Christmas Extravaganza begin (plus bonus inclusion of Thursday Night Football).

Ladies and gentlemen, the Christmas Bowls!

Looking back at Week 16.

More steps in the right direction as we hit the home stretch. 9-7 on the week. 121-118-1 on the year. Take us home, Saint Nick.

Early Christmas Game Uniform Matchup.

At least Netflix is getting one sharp uniform matchup on Christmas Day. Chiefs at Steelers can do no wrong no matter what each team decides to wear. And I’m rolling with Pittsburgh regardless.

The heavyweight champions of the world continue to cruise towards home field advantage in pursuit of the first threepeat in Super Bowl history. A win on the road against the Steelers will ensure AFC postseason traffic is diverted through Arrowhead. But Mike Tomlin’s Steelers are the ultimate play-to-your-competition team. Call it Christmas miracle casting, but I’m on Pittsburgh stealing this one outright.

The Pick: Steelers +3

NOTE - the Chiefs have yet to reveal their choice of pants.

Late Christmas Game Uniform Matchup (and Worst NFL Uniform Matchup of Week 17).

I’m not mad. Just disappointed. At least the Ravens and Texans dressed appropriately for a well-deserved serving of coal. Dark and dreary and then some. Battle Red alternate was right there for Houston (preferably with white pants). And in this world where the Texans decided to go with the H-Town Blue alternate, Baltimore’s answer in stripe-less black pants completes the latest example of NFL teams not considering the overall uniform matchup. Ultimately, this is a textbook example of two individually solid uniforms combining for a bad uniform matchup. They aren’t bad on their own. Sure, no stripes on Baltimore’s pants still is an opportunity missed. But the helmet and jersey are elite, and there’s certainly a time and place for the overall look. And the H-Town Blue alternate continues to grow on me - especially the pop of vibrant red outlined in that unique shade of light blue. The uniforms just whiff when paired together. Compounding of errors on Christmas Day* leaves me no choice but to relegate these two strong wardrobe teams to the spot of shame.

It’s not all bad in Houston. While the uniform matchup is a dud, the football game itself is worth the price of admission (or a monthly Netflix subscription). Two playoff teams this year and a rematch of the Divisional Round last year. This Ravens offense makes me nervous with the under. But this Texans defense has been a strong unit all season - Top 3 in EPA per play and success rate. Between that, the all-season mediocrity of Houston’s offense, and the mid-season resurgence of Baltimore’s defense, under the tree it is.

*It’s entirely possible (and even likely) that the Falcons and Commanders spit out a worse uniform matchup (plus their individual uniforms are undeniably much worse). But situation, context, and potential matter. And sometimes you have to stand on principle. Worst of the week for giving us this lump of coal on Christmas is what Baltimore and Houston deserve.

The Pick: Under 46.5

Thursday Night Football Uniform Matchup.

With the darkness and dreariness continuing the day after Christmas, I might have to diagnose the league with seasonal uniform affective disorder. At least the Ravens and Texans saved the Bears from being undeservingly dragged into worst of the week once more. And Chicago is the clear choice here.

Bit of a dud to close out Thursday Night Football. At least the Seahawks still have postseason dreams to play for. I’m almost over the Bears interim coach egg laying. And I certainly will be if they deliver this cover.

The Pick: Bears +3.5

Club SDR - Week 17 Player Props.

2-1 on the week. 23-27-1 on the season. Channeling the holiday spirit and cooking up a six-player Christmas course.

Hollywood Brown - Over 3.5 Receptions

Nice little Chiefs debut for Hollywood - pulling in five catches on eight targets. I like Pat to keep looking his way to get him tuned up for the postseason.

Lamar Jackson - Over 7.5 Rushing Attempts

Texans defense has a knack for getting after the quarterback. So my guess is Lamar tucks and runs more than usual. With an eight attempt average this season, the math checks out.

DeAndre Hopkins - Over 34.5 Receiving Yards

Hopkins has cleared the number in four of his last five. And in three career games against the Steelers, he’s averaged 78 receiving yards per game.

Russell Wilson - Over 223.5 Passing Yards

The Russ-in-Pittsburgh experiment has gone better than anyone could’ve imagined. Though the last two weeks against the Eagles and Ravens have been rough. Bounce back week incoming for Mr. Unlimited.

CJ Stroud - Over 247.5 Passing Yards

Second year regression has been real for this Young Texan. But it’s hard to blame Stroud when the offense line has been a mess and the offensive game plan has been even messier. It’s a sample size of one, but Stroud erupted for 331 passing yards the last time he was in the H-Town Blue alternate. Let’s do it again.

Chris Boswell - Over 6.5 Kicking Points

That’s right. We’ve got a kicker on the docket. And for good reason. Boswell is only five field goals shy of tying the record for most field goals in a season (44), which was set by David Akers back in 2011. Let’s make history.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

Uniform graphics seen here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

With the wonkiness of the penultimate regular season week including three Saturday games, the rest of the Week 17 slate drops Saturday morning.

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