Happy Thanksgiving. And Happy Week 13. Hope you brought your aesthetic appetite because we've got a lot to cover in this special edition of the Bets Dressed newsletter: the third annual Thanksgiving Thursday Extravaganza (plus our second year with a bonus Black Friday matchup). Football, food, and family. It’s the best holiday of the year.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Turkey Bowls!

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on which team dresses best. And just because a team is ranked higher in the Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings doesn’t mean it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

Looking back at Week 12.

6-7 on the week. 87-91-1 on the year. All 16 teams at play this week. Let’s grab all six legs of turducken and cross the .500 threshold.

Thanksgiving Uniform Matchups.

Not a single throwback for Bears-Lions on Thanksgiving.* I’m not mad. Just disappointed. If Chicago wasn’t going to run back the throwbacks, they could’ve at least gone white jersey-white pants for the first time since 2009. But against the Blueberries, they’re the pick regardless.

The Bears have lost five straight. And a fight with the baddest team on the planet on short rest isn’t exactly a recipe for success. But Caleb Williams is coming off his best game as a pro, the Lions are Bottom 8 in pass yards allowed, and Carlton Davis is set to be out. Perhaps Caleb can follow up his best performance as a pro with his biggest win as a pro. Though I’d settle for him keeping it close.

*There is no greater offense to the Uniform Gods than having the opportunity to wear a throwback on Thanksgiving and failing to do so. Aesthetic sacrilege.

The Pick: Bears +9.5

That’s more like it, Cowboys. Now imagine a world where the Giants white throwbacks could rise to meet this Cowboys classic. Hope the Week 1 Century Red train wreck was worth it. Dallas in a landslide. And bonus points for holiday spirit (not that they needed them).

We haven’t had a Thanksgiving football game this unappealing in a long time. Best thing I can say is that it provides an ideal point in the day to time dinner. Hopefully home field and the Uniform Gods carry us to the cover.

The Pick: Cowboys -3.5

Dolphins also delivered in the throwback department. This is easily the best uniform matchup of Thanksgiving 2024. Miami in all white pairs well with the green and gold of Green Bay. And I expect this one to look sharp under the lights in Lambeau. Dolphins get the nod.

In addition to being uniform matchup of the day, this is also football game of the day. The Dolphins are officially lurking. And any other year the Packers would be the cream of the NFC North crop (but instead are in third place at 8-3). Green Bay is coming down off the high of throttling the Niners. And while Jeff Hafley has the defense playing solid ball, they’re surprisingly Bottom 7 in success rate. Miami’s offense is a top half unit in that metric and keeps improving each week since Tua’s return. I’ll take three and the hook with that dichotomy.

The Pick: Dolphins +3.5

Bonus Black Friday Uniform Matchup.

Let the silver number manifestation begin. Nothing looks better for the Raiders on the road (and nothing makes more sense now that they are housed in the Silver State). Chiefs round out one of the best looking rivalries in the league. But giving the edge to the SILVER and black.

Raiders beat the Chiefs outright as road dogs with silver numbers last year. They can do it again here (or at least cover a monster number). Any Given Black Friday.

The Pick: Raiders +13

NOTE - the Chiefs have yet to reveal their choice of pants. And the Raiders have yet to reveal their choice of jersey. But please allow me to once again manifest silver numbers.

Club SDR - Week 13 Player Props.

The dreaded o-fer. 15-20-1 on the season, and it’s now time to chase. Give me a Single Digit Revolutionary for each Thanksgiving team to turn this clown car around.

DJ Moore - Over 4.5 Receptions

It’s been a rough patch for the Bears and Moore. But Chicago’s WR1 is averaging seven targets over his last four games. And the Lions are giving up the most receptions to opposing wide receivers.

David Montgomery - Over 0.5 Touchdowns

One half of the best RB duo in football. And my personal favorite duo in league history. I like Knuckles to find the endzone in a revenge spot.

Malik Nabers - Over 65.5 Receiving Yards

After last week’s shellacking against the Bucs, Nabers expressed some frustration about the Giants season and his role (or lack thereof) in the offense. New York’s season isn’t salvageable. But the relationship with their first-round wide receiver is. I except Brian Daboll to draw up action to Nabers early and often.

Brandin Cooks - Over 23.5 Receiving Yards

Cooks is activated off injured reserve and primed to return against the Giants. Last season, he roasted New York with a 9/173/1 slash line. 24 yards should be light work - even with rust.

Jonnu Smith - Over 4.5 Receptions

Smith has turned into a security blanket for Tua and the Dolphins. And the Packers are a bottom half team in receptions allowed to opposing tight ends.

Josh Jacobs - Over 0.5 Touchdowns

The free agent running back renaissance marches on. Jacobs has seven touchdowns in his last seven games. Plus the Dolphins are a bottom half team in rushing touchdowns allowed to opposing running backs.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

Uniform graphics seen here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

You know the drill. Full Week 13 Slate drops Sunday morning.

Subscribe and share this newsletter far and wide. And always remember: Look Good. Feel Good. Pay Good.