2023 has been a great year overall for NFL aesthetics. And Week 8 may just be the apex. While Thursday Night Football may not be the best possible uniform matchup between the Buccaneers and Bills, it’s still an excellent football game. Someone has to walk the plank and someone gets to drop a celebratory people’s elbow through a folding table.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Planks and Tables Bowl!

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on who dresses best. And just because a team is ranked higher in the Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings doesn’t mean it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

Looking back at Week 7.

We are officially in a slump. An abysmal 3-10 performance last week. And 44-59-3 on the year. Nowhere to go but up.

Thursday Night Football Uniform Matchup.

Our reprieve was fun while it lasted, but the blueberries are back for the Bills. The Bucs continue to have one of the most underrated primary looks in the league. And their pewter-white-pewter combo runs away with it here.

Tampa Bay and Buffalo are navigating rough patches in their seasons. The Bucs started 3-1 but have dropped two straight. And the Bills are coming off one of the worst losses of the McDermott-Allen Era. Both teams will be looking to turn the mojo around with a win on a Thursday Night Football leading into a mini-bye. I’m going to be honest. Everything about this screams Bills blowout in a must-get-right spot. But in the Uniform Gods - and Baker - we trust.

The Pick: Buccaneers +9

Club SDR - Week 8 Player Props.

Batted over .600 with our Kelly Green trio. 2-1 on the week. 11-10 on the season. Sticking with baseball analogies, let’s keep winning series taking two of three or better.

Rachaad White - Over 21.5 Receiving Yards

White is averaging 27 receiving yards per game and has cleared the number in four of six. The Bills are giving up 40 receiving yards per game to opposing running backs - Bottom 10 in the league. I’m not going to overthink this.

Geno Smith - Over 221.5 Passing Yards

Smith has been one of the best stories in football over the last two seasons. The 2022 Comeback Player of the Year has the Seahawks as bona fide NFC contenders. Sure, the Browns are giving up the fewest passing yards to opposing quarterbacks. But Geno is going to be decked out in one of the best uniforms in NFL history. What kind of aesthetic-based operation would this be if we weren’t taking the important things into consideration.*

*Wanted to get Will Levis in his Oilers throwback in on the action as well, but his line isn’t out yet.

Joe Burrow - Over 260.5 Passing Yards

It’s been a less-than-ideal start for Joe Burrow and the Bengals offense. But Cincinnati has come through what is likely to be the worst stretch of the season at .500 and trending in the right direction. Back in 2021, the Bengals and 49ers squared off for an instant classic. Burrow threw for 348 yards and two touchdowns in a three-point overtime loss. I like him to get his revenge and clear the number while doing so.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

The uniform graphics you see here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

Keep an eye out for the Week 8 full slate breakdown to drop Sunday morning. Because we live in a world without an NFL uniform scheduling czar, we’re at the mercy of the teams deciding and announcing their uniform combos each week. Where it’s not 100% clear before posting, I’ll make a best guess and update after the fact for posterity.

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