Welcome to Week 5. We've officially reached the point where early week stumbles can turn into season ending spirals. Which brings us to the Colts and the Broncos. Two preseason darlings with Super Bowl aspirations that have not lived up to the hype (to put it very nicely).

Matt Ryan and Russell Wilson are doing their best Chet Steadman impressions. The prime years seem to be well behind them. I'm throwing in the towel for the loser of this one. Ladies and gentlemen, the Out to Pasture Bowl!

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on who dresses best. And just because a team’s wardrobe is ranked higher in the Power Rankings doesn’t mean that it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

And don’t forget the Triple Mismatch Club wrinkle. I’m making three unit plays whenever the best dressed team in the matchup is a member of the Club (different colored helmet, jersey, and pants). And nine unit plays if both members of the week’s best matchup are members.

Week 4 Recap.

Before we get to Thursday Night Football and Week 5 Fantasy Plays, let's see how Week 4 went:

6-9-1. One small step forward. Two small steps back. 27-35-2 at the quarter poll.* The aesthetic edge continues to elude us as we continue to hover right below .500 on a week-to-week basis. But we aren't turning back now. One big week turns this whole thing around. Burn the boats. The only way out is through.

*I'm not one to complain about extra football, but adding the 17th game completely screwed up the math on the landmarks of the season (quarter pole, halfway point, etc.).

Thursday Night Football Uniform Matchup.

From a pure uniform perspective, we're kicking off Week 5 on a high note. Colts at Broncos is a sneaky good uniform matchup. The Colts can do no wrong in my eyes, and the navy-orange-white outfit of the Broncos is their best. The iced out Colts (with that pop of blue) allows the Broncos orange to really shine. Colts are the pick here but solid marks all around.

As for the football game itself? I guess we'll see. It's hard to think of two more disappointing teams to start the 2022 season. The Colts are a mess. Other than an outlier win against the Chiefs, the Colts have looked inept en route to an 0-2-1 record against their division rivals. If you thought Jim Irsay was upset about how 2021 ended, imagine how he's feeling now. Frank Reich and Chris Ballard are certainly on the hot seat. The Broncos somehow are 2-2, but the $296 million Russell Wilson offense looks absolutely anemic. And Nathaniel Hackett appears out of his depth as a head coach. It's likely panic time for both teams. But it's five-alarm fire time for the loser of this one.

The Pick: Colts +3.5 (-115)

Club SDR - Week 5 Fantasy Plays.

All it took was a White Bengal extravaganza for the Single Digit Revolution to post its first 3 for 3 week. Burrow, Chase, and McPherson each delivered, bringing our Club SDR record to 7-5 on the season.

As for this week, the name of the game is disappointment. Or more specifically, disappointing players ...

In the Single Digit Revolution fantasy preview issue, Kyle Pitts,* Travis Etienne, and Elijah Moore made up over a third of our hypothetical auction squad's overall budget. To say they haven't lived up to the hype would be an understatement. But sticking with our "burn the boats" theme this week, we're not throwing in the towel just yet. When everyone else says drop or bench, we're going to zag. Our boys are due. Anytime touchdown props all around.

*Pitts popped up on the injury report this week, so keep an eye on whether he's a go or not.

UPDATE - Anytime TD lines: Pitts (+250); Etienne (+140); Moore (+245).

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

The uniform graphics you see here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. It is my favorite site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casual fans alike.

Drop me a line.

You can always find me on Twitter at NFL Fashion Advice (@fashion_nfl) or via email at [email protected]. Come talk uniforms and all things football, and let me know what you think of the newsletter.

Coming Attractions.

Bets Dressed Week 5 coverage continues this Sunday with a breakdown of the full slate (plus Monday Night Football).

Look for the Sunday issue to hit your inbox before the London kick. As I’ve noted previously, we live in a world without a uniform scheduling czar, so it’s sometimes a chore finding out a team’s wardrobe ahead of time. In instances where it’s not 100% clear, I’ll make a best guess and update the issue later.

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And always remember: Look Good. Feel Good. Pay Good.