Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! We're ending Week 16 in style with an issue to commemorate the three Christmas Day games. Ironically enough, today's games are the few on the slate that won't be played in subarctic temperatures. As cold as the games have been, we're off to a nice 10-3 start this week.

Enough preamble. We drank the milk. We ate the cookies. We opened the presents. Now it's football time.

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on who dresses best. And just because a team’s wardrobe is ranked higher in the Power Rankings doesn’t mean that it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

And don’t forget the Triple Mismatch Club wrinkle. I’m making three unit plays whenever the best dressed team in the matchup is a member of the Club (different colored helmet, jersey, and pants). And nine unit plays if both members of the week’s best matchup are members.

Week 16 Christmas Day Uniform Matchups and Picks.

I'm starting to think we're not going to get more throwbacks from the Dolphins this year. I thought Christmas Day would've been the perfect spot to break them out. Oh well. Only two weeks left for them to come through. Let's hope for the best. Across the sideline, the Packers never have to worry about cleansing a modern uniform mistake with a throwback. And Green Bay is the easy pick here.

The Packers and Dolphins must be polar opposites because they seem to constantly be moving in different directions. The Packers had a dreadful start to the season and seem to have found a semblance of their old selves. The Dolphins started red hot and have subsequently cooled off. But both of these teams are in the playoff picture. A Dolphins victory will all but cement them as an AFC wild card team, and a Packers victory will keep the improbable recovery alive. Games like this often come down to quarterback play. I've been impressed with Tua this season. Consider me a believer. But Aaron Rodgers is still Aaron Rodgers, and I'm glad to be riding with him in this one.

The Pick: Packers +3.5 (-110)

Broncos at Rams. The monochrome showdown no one asked for. Both outfits leave much to be desired. But the Rams color palette carries the day.

When the NFL schedule first came out, Broncos at Rams was supposed to be the big draw of Christmas Day (and Week 16 as a whole). But you know what they say about best laid plans. Instead, we're left with a practically pointless football game. The Seahawks and Lions have more invested in this game draft-pick wise than anyone else. For that reason, it's a bit difficult to predict. And it will mostly come down to pride. Guys are still fighting for jobs for next year. Who wants it more?

The Pick: Rams +3 (-115)

We're ending Christmas Day with one of the worst uniform matchups of the week. The Bucs are the Will Hunting in this one; it's not their fault. The Cardinals bring down every matchup they're in - especially when their opponent has red in the color palette. Tampa Bay by a mile.

The Cardinals season is all but over, and Trace McSorley may be in over his head in his first career start. The Buccaneers are still - somehow - in pole position for the NFC South. But the Panthers and Saints took care of business yesterday and are keeping the pressure on. If Tom Brady and the boys can't get it done in this spot, let's hope the football gods spare us from having to watch them in the postseason. However, I think they win comfortably here.

The Pick: Buccaneers -7.5 (-110)

NOTE - Both the Buccaneers and Cardinals have yet to unveil their pants.

Bonus Bet - The Christmas Day Super Tease.

You've heard of the 12 days of Christmas. Please allow me to introduce the six legs of the Christmas Day Super Tease. We're taking our picks above and adding the over in each game (because life is too short to bet the under). Let's make it a seven-point tease because we're going to need all the help we can get.

Packers +10.5

Rams +10

Buccaneers -0.5

Packers/Dolphins Over 43

Broncos/Rams Over 29.5

Buccaneers/Cardinals Over 33.5

(+450)

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

The uniform graphics you see here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. It is my favorite site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casual fans alike.

Drop me a line.

You can always find me on Twitter at NFL Fashion Advice (@fashion_nfl) or via email at [email protected]. Come talk uniforms and all things football, and let me know what you think of the newsletter.

Coming Attractions.

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy holiday season. Thanks for reading!

We're back for Week 17 and the last Thursday issue of the season in just a few days.

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