The 2024 NFL season is upon us, and the Ravens, Chiefs, Packers, and Eagles are ready to get this party started. Per tradition, the Thursday night game gets a bowl name. Last year we had the Kneecaps and Banners Bowl. And if the Chiefs see this threepeat thing through, I’ll have to keep this opening theme going. But we’ve got a whole lot of football to sort out first.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Crab Cakes and Banners Bowl!

A quick note on methodology.

As always, I’m analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on which team dresses best. And just because a team is ranked higher in the Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings doesn’t mean it will automatically win the uniform matchup. It’s what you wear in the instant matchup that counts.

NFL Opener Uniform Matchup.

We. are. back. But not quite better than ever. I dig the icy white look from Baltimore but would’ve preferred purple pants in this one. So let’s show some respect to the twice-over defending champs. Hunt for the threepeat starts now.

The Pick: Chiefs -3

Friday in Brazil Uniform Matchup.

Big Friday for firsts. First Brazil game in NFL history. And first time for the Eagles rocking black-white-black in franchise history.* Despite unending rumor mills and misunderstandings of local soccer traditions in Sao Paulo, an NFL team is wearing green in Brazil. Under normal circumstances, I’d give the edge to the Packers here. But I respect Philadelphia tapping into the black and white aesthetic of Corinthians - the soccer team whose stadium plays host to Friday’s game. And the Birds get the nod as a result.

*Curious to see whether this counts as one of the Eagles three alternate** games. Two Kelly Green games are on the books, and you know the fans in Philly want a black jersey game. Could easily see the league granting the Birds an exception given the special circumstance. But time will tell.

**Eagles join the Bengals and Panthers as current wardrobe teams pairing an alternate helmet with a primary uniform.

The Pick: Eagles -2

Club SDR - Week 1 Player Props.

Can’t stop. Won’t stop. The Single Digit Revolution shows no signs of slowing down. As always, three player prop overs for three Revolutionaries each week.

Xavier Worthy - Over 45.5 Receiving Yards

Bit of a shot in the dark here with the rookie receiver. But Worthy’s world-class speed sets him up to clear the number on one deep shot.

Zay Flowers - Over 52.5 Receiving Yards

After a crippling fumble in last year’s AFC Championship Game, Flowers undoubtedly has redemption on the brain. I expect Lamar to get him involved early and often.

Jalen Hurts - Over 36.5 Rushing Yards

The last time Hurts played the Packers while debuting a black-helmet combo he rushed for 157 yards. Let’s hope history repeats

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

Uniform graphics seen here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you’ve never paid their site a visit, stop what you’re doing right now and check it out. Best site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casuals alike.

Coming Attractions.

The fun is only beginning. Week 1 Slate drops Sunday morning.

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