Welcome to the last offseason issue of the Bets Dressed newsletter. The 2022 NFL season is almost upon us. And what better way to gear up for the new season than thinking about what uniforms we want to see clashing in Glendale for Super Bowl LVII.

A quick note on methodology.

It's the NFC's turn to host the Super Bowl this year, and I picked five matchups below with that fact in mind. I tried to keep it grounded with matchups that have a realistic chance of occurring this season. And a couple more ground rules: no multiple appearances for any team and no repeat historical matchups. In other words, each of the matchups featured in this issue has never happened before in Super Bowl history.

Because this is the Bets Dressed newsletter, each matchup comes with a corresponding Super Bowl matchup futures bet. As always, one unit per play unless noted otherwise.

Some Dream Super Bowl LVII Uniform Matchups.

Bengals-Cowboys Super Bowl (+12000)

Starting things off with the defending AFC champion Cincinnati Bengals. And who better to pair them with than the most complementary uniform team in the NFL - the Dallas Cowboys. The Bengals are coming off the best Super Bowl uniform matchup of the last 15 years,* and I debated pairing them back with the Rams on this list. But in trying to come up with original, never-before-seen Super Bowl matchups, this one just feels (and looks) right. The Cowboys are the most valuable team on any hypothetical uniform matchup list; their primary white outfits go well with just about any uniform in the league. And it goes to a completely different level when their opponents rock a complementary color that really pops. The black and orange of the Bengals is a perfect example of that situation. Athletic aesthetics aside, this would be a dream storyline matchup. Joe Burrow, Ja"Marr Chase, and the rest of the coolest team in football going against America's Team in its return to the big game. Sign me up.

*In my humble opinion, Rams-Bengals in Super Bowl LVI was the best Super Bowl uniform matchup since Colts-Bears in Super Bowl XLI.

Chiefs-Rams Super Bowl (+3500)

I've been dreaming about a Chiefs-Rams Super Bowl ever since the two teams squared off in 2018 for the greatest Monday Night Football game of all time.* A theme you'll find on this list is finding NFC teams with a bona fide reason to wear white as the Super Bowl home team. And the Rams join the Cowboys above as one of those teams. If the Rams get back to defend their crown, I have a hard time seeing them wearing anything else. And no complaints from me as the white over yellow look is their best by far (and one of the sneaky best in the league). The Chiefs classic red is a perfect complement and an NFL classic.

*The 54-51 Rams victory was the third-highest scoring game in NFL history and involved over 1,000 total yards combined. It even has its own Wikipedia page. But the weirdest thing about the game is that I wouldn't even describe it as a poor defensive performance. 21 of the game's points stemmed from defensive touchdowns! It's one of those games I wish I could forget so I could watch it again for the first time.

Colts-49ers Super Bowl (+11000)

I've always loved the look of the icy white Colts against the red and gold 49ers. It just works. Both uniforms feature classic elements and strong color palettes. And combined together, the outfits are perfect complements. This matchup fittingly features teams that too many people are sleeping on. If Matt Ryan can bring much needed stability to the quarterback position, the Colts should stroll to an AFC South title. And the sky is the limit in San Francisco if Trey Lance is the real deal.*

*I put little stock in the speculation that Jimmy Garoppolo's reworked deal is an indicator of concern about Trey Lance. I doubt many trade suitors emerged for Jimmy G, and this path allows the 49ers to hold onto a valuable trade chip if a quarterback injury occurs elsewhere in the league. If nothing else, you set yourself up for a comp pick when Garoppolo signs elsewhere this offseason. And it never hurts to have a capable backup in the meantime.

Chargers-Buccaneers Super Bowl (+3500)

In the words of Dr. Evil, I need an old priest quarterback and a young priest quarterback. Enter Tom Brady and Justin Herbert. We had a "pass the baton" Super Bowl Matchup a few years ago featuring Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, but the GOAT wasn't ready to relinquish the title belt just yet. And two seasons later, Brady is back for more. My love for the Chargers uniforms is well documented at this point, and I wanted to propose a Super Bowl matchup where they could wear their league-best blue-over-gold ensemble. Like the Cowboys and Rams above, the Bucs are another likely NFC team to wear white* despite having home field honors in the big game. And if that was the case, I can think of few better Super Bowl uniform matchups than Chargers-Bucs.

*If the Bucs make it to Glendale, my money is on them to reprise their Super Bowl LV winning outfits.

Bills-Packers Super Bowl (+2200)

Last, but certainly not least, we end with the Bills against the Packers. The most likely matchup on this list (at least in terms of odds) would feature a sneaky great uniform matchup. It would be hard to see a situation where the Packers wouldn't wear their classic green-over-yellow primary uniform. For the Bills, the question would be blue pants or white pants. Both are excellent options that would get no complaints from me. But I went with their icy white look here, which is one of the best uniforms in the league. I can think of few better Super Bowl quarterback matchups than Josh Allen vs. Aaron Rodgers,* so NFL fans should rejoice from both a football and uniform perspective if we're blessed with this matchup in February.

*These two are set to square off in Week 8 this year. We can expect a much better contest than their first meeting in 2018, where rookie Josh Allen posted a 36.3 quarterback rating in a 22-0 shutout loss.

The Gridiron Uniform Database.

All of the uniform graphics you see here are courtesy of The Gridiron Uniform Database. If you've never paid their site a visit, stop what you're doing right now and check it out. It is my favorite site on the Internet and an invaluable resource to uniform nerds and casual fans alike.

Drop me a line.

You can always find me on Twitter at NFL Fashion Advice (@fashion_nfl) or via email at [email protected]. Come talk uniforms and all things football, and let me know what you think of the newsletter.

Coming Attractions.

The offseason filler is almost over, folks. It's finally time to analyze weekly uniform matchups and pick winners (and losers) accordingly. I hope this newsletter can be a place to check out weekly uniform matchups while answering the question of whether there is an aesthetic edge in the NFL.

I've been toying with how to handle weekly issues. Teams can be somewhat sporadic in releasing their wardrobe for the week, so I've decided to drop a Bets Dressed issue every Thursday and Sunday. Thursday's issue will preview Thursday Night Football and Sunday's issue will preview the full Sunday slate plus Monday Night Football.

I'll be analyzing every NFL uniform matchup and picking a winner against the spread based on who dresses best. I'll also be identifying the week's best and worst matchups and betting the over for the best and the under for the worst. And to keep the Single Digit Revolution going, I'll be offering stat props and fantasy tips throughout the season.

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And always remember: Look Good. Feel Good. Pay Good.