Welcome Back.

It’s Season 3 of the Bets Dressed newsletter.  With the opener one week away, time to pause, reflect, and take stock of the NFL aesthetic.  No better way than with the 2024 Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings.

Before we do individual teams, let’s take a moment to appreciate how good we have it.  Following the 2023 Summer of Throwbacks, 2024 answered with an electric offseason of its own - highlighted by the best set of offseason redesigns in recent memory.

The Panelist Era is all but vanquished.  And the hypermodern insanity of the 2010s has been supplanted by the Modern Classic Revolution.  The Uniform Renaissance is upon us.

Haters gonna hate, but the uniform glass continues to be half full.  Still plenty to gripe about, but we’ve reached a point where combo decisions are a bigger problem than wardrobes themselves.

Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings.

Quick reminder on methodology: rankings consider the totality of a team’s uniform wardrobe.  Primary uniforms are weighted higher, and the stronger primary in an individual wardrobe can cover warts of a lesser counterpart. But sharp primary teams can and will get dinged for insufferable alternates (looking at you Bears, Bucs, Colts, and Giants).  Important to note your team could have the best alternate/throwback in the league but still tumble down the board thanks to subpar primaries.

In addition to wardrobes, combo decisions and habits over the previous year(s) factor into the calculus. Prepare yourselves, Patriots and Saints.

Enough preamble.  Allow me to present the 2024 NFL Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings (with more detailed analysis and explanation below):

While I strive to be evenhanded between classic and modern approaches, this exercise is admittedly subjective.  And I must say this was the hardest year yet.  We have teams dipping into the bottom half of my rankings that someone could justifiably have at the top of their board.  It’s all in the eye of the beholder, like vanilla or chocolate and pepperoni or sausage.*

*Shoutout Howie Roseman. First footnote of the year and all-time GM press conference clip. Like Howie, I like both vanilla and chocolate. But this exercise begets hard decisions.

Team-By-Team Analysis.

Per tradition, there are tiers - an equally subjective and inexact endeavor. Each team gets a blurb and “Something to Fix”.  Plus I’m introducing some Super Bowl uniform matchup manifestation.  Remember NFC is home team this year for the big game.

As noted above, the majority of wardrobes are at least palatable with proper combos (with the exception of the bottom tier).  And I understand the argument for any team in the first three tiers to be at the top of someone’s board.  But here’s my Top Seven.  Healthy mix of classic and modern.  What separates this tier (and the next) from the rest is ceiling versus floor.  You can’t go wrong with timeless classics (and some are in this tier), but there’s something about these teams that screams best in class or otherwise ups the aesthetic ante.

Heavy lies the crown. Chargers still sit atop the Power Rankings throne. As patron saints of the Uniform Renaissance, Los Angeles delivered the blueprint in 2020 for all future redesigns: honor the past and embrace the future. Importantly, the Chargers prove you can be elite without carbon copying an old-school look. Omitting panels around sleeve bolts and pant stripes, adopting italic numbers, and foregoing TV/shoulder numbers were masterstrokes that enhanced historically excellent powder blues. With limited real estate on today’s templates, less can often be more.

While the alternates are not without nitpicks (more below), the primaries lap the field to such a degree that I can’t bring myself to lower Los Angeles. White-blue-yellow* continues to be my favorite outfit in the league and the pinnacle of the Triple Mismatch Club. With improving uniforms league-wide, teams will keep coming for the king. But the NFL uniform standard remains powder blue.

Something to Fix: Navy and royal alternates do have a flaw: can’t escape the unitard bug. Both navy and royal unitards capped by white helms have overstayed their welcome. White and/or gold pants with matching accents would solve the problem. And I’d gladly accept navy throwbacks - especially with Jim Harbaugh at the helm.

Dream Super Bowl: Chargers (White-White-White) at 49ers (Gold-Red-Gold).

*Chargers color palette never gets old. Purists may scoff at use of yellow instead of gold, but I call things how they appear in this exercise (gold for Niners, Jags, Ravens, and Saints and yellow for Chargers, Chiefs, Commanders, Packers, Rams, Steelers, and Vikings).

Most flawless wardrobe in football. Elite primaries paired with elite home and away throwbacks. For the second year in a row, I seriously considered elevating the Niners to the top spot. But the Chargers have a stranglehold on my uniform-loving heart.*

Red and gold are perfect complements.** Wordmark is best in the league. And throwbacks offer uniform combo variation while using black drop shadow and striping to tie in the black outline on the SF crest. More I talk about them, more I wonder if I should just rip off the bandaid and move them up. Let’s throw down the gauntlet. Assuming San Francisco stays the course, Chargers are officially on notice: address alternate shortcomings next offseason or 49ers leapfrog you for aesthetic overlordship.

Something to Fix: Wouldn’t change a thing. But I’d be intrigued by a gold facemask similar to UCLA.***

Dream Super Bowl: See above. But for the sake of more manifestation … Ravens (Black-White-Purple) at 49ers (Gold-Red-Gold).

*Parody of myself when it comes to light blue.

**Whether it’s individual uniforms or matchups, complementary contrast is king.

***Not lost on me that one of my favorite college aesthetics is a mashup of the top two teams here.

Most complementary uniform team* in the league can’t stop climbing. The Triple Mismatch Club home whites are uniform nirvana lighter fluid.** And it’s almost impossible to have a bad uniform matchup when Dallas is involved - even if something’s lacking, it’s never their fault. The white primary gets the most shine, but the navy primary, Arctic Cowboy alternate, and blue throwback are all top notch.

Some complain about the Cowboys mismatched blues. But I’ve always found their organized chaos amounts to quirky charm. Light blue pants unlock the entire look; matching pants to helmet would turn Dallas into a less-inspired version of the Raiders.

Something to Fix: If forced to tweak home uniform blues, replace navy with royal.

Dream Super Bowl: Steelers (Black-Black-Yellow) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue). NFL’s version of Celtics-Lakers.

*Pay attention to most appearances in the “Dream Super Bowl” category.

**Cowboys and Niners gunning for third straight Best Uniform Matchup of the Year. Big year for threepeat hunts.

Cincinnati has been a Power Rankings darling since their 2021 redesign.* Took the Modern Classic baton from the Chargers and ran with it in style. Even one-upped Los Angeles by continuously improving the wardrobe every year. First came the White Bengal helmet. Then came pairing it with the superior white primary. And now - first time in franchise history - introducing orange pants to the wardrobe.

Kudos to Cincy for consistently giving the people what they want. While I’m personally out on the Full Bengal all-orange outfit compared to their other orange outfits, it’s hard to fault listening to the fans. Bengals are at their best with healthy doses of contrast. Love the White Bengal look as much as anyone, but I believe the pop of helmet orange takes an icy white Bengals uniform to another level. At least the Full Bengal black accents make it one of the more tolerable all-color uniforms. As excited as I am for some orange pants, hope we continue to see healthy doses of orange-black-white and orange-white-white. Regardless, still bullish on the Bengals - aesthetically and otherwise.

Something to Fix: Another year, another request to ditch the B logo for the Tiger Head and Leaping Tiger.

Dream Super Bowl: Bengals (Orange-Black-White) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue).

*After bottom feeding in the Panelist Era, the current wardrobe is a breath of fresh air.

Browns have one of those wardrobes that should never be substantially altered.* But small, subtle changes can yield big, dynamic results. The switch to a white mask did just that. Cleveland also went from a matte to glossy helmet shell. While matte shells can be a hot-button topic, I’m a fan with adequate contrast between shell and jersey. For the Browns, I’m ultimately indifferent to matte versus gloss where there is always sharp contrast between the orange helmet and brown/white jerseys.

Direct quote from last year’s Power Rankings: “If the Browns want to jump back into the Top 5, white facemasks are the way.” To paraphrase Dr. Ian Malcolm, they did it; the crazy Browns did it. I often say “ask and you shall receive”. Upon my receipt here, it’s only right to return the favor. Welcome back to the Top 5, Cleveland. You earned it.

Something to Fix: With the white masks and apparent shelving of the dreadful brown Color Rush uniform, no changes needed. Just keep the no-eyed dog away from Brownie’s field domain.

Dream Super Bowl: Browns (Orange-White-Orange) at Lions (Silver-Blue-Silver). Party like it’s the 1950s.

*Underscored by their abhorrent attempt at hypermodernization in 2015.

First full* redesign team to appear here. And what an entrance. The top-half spot is well earned, but placing this high has to do with one thing: the blue-over-silver primary is one of the best looking uniforms in league history. Honolulu Blue has never looked better, the mask is a game changer, the stripes are spectacular, and the logo remains one of the best in football. That said, I acknowledge this may be their rankings apex. I’m mentally preparing for Detroit to continue wearing “blueberries” and “marshmallows” in lieu of superior combinations.** But they haven’t disappointed yet, so I’m starting this new era by giving the benefit of the doubt. And have I mentioned how good the home blues look?

Most pleasant surprise of the new wardrobe is the blue alternate helmet. I was disappointed with last year’s blue helmet and thought its combination with the gray unitard made for an awful uniform. But this blue helmet - with black striping, logo, and mask - looks phenomenal alone and paired with black jersey/blue pants (though black stripes would kick the pants up a notch). All in all, Lions knocked the redesign out of the park. And my enthusiasm for so much about their new wardrobe carried them this high. But unhealthy doses of practice pant unitards this season will cause the Lions to come back down to Power Rankings Earth.

Something to Fix: Wordmark on the white and black jersey is just barely on the right side of the acceptable size threshold.*** So allow me to vent about the return of white practice pants. Though I have no major problem with helmet/jersey/pant stripes differing throughout an individual uniform, I can understand that issue as an argument for why stripes were omitted from the blue pants. But said argument collapses when applied to the white pants. Same blue stripe from the silver helmet and white jersey could’ve - and should’ve - been harmoniously applied to the white pants.

Dream Super Bowl: Chiefs (Red-White-Red) at Lions (Silver-Blue-Silver).

*Browns redesigned their helmet, but Broncos, Jets, Lions, and Texans are the big four this redesign season.

**Hoping for silver-white-silver despite it’s redesign reveal absence.

***More akin to Bengals and Texans wordmarks that don’t cross into titanic mess territory like Cardinals or Falcons. I’m for wordmarks on jerseys if they aren’t too large. Over half the league features a frontal wordmark, and the best examples are those on the smaller side (49ers for example).

Pittsburgh is a picturesque football town, and the Steelers have a picturesque football wardrobe. Color scheme is sharp. One-sided helmet logo is delightfully unique. And in a world where all-black uniforms became played out, the Steelers counteract the darkness with a fantastic pop of color from yellow pants. Even when they go full blackout with the Color Rush uniform, yellow accents shine through.

Speaking of blackout unis, Steelers are still best in class. Pittsburgh is also a prime exemplar of two underused and underrated combos: dark-dark-pop of color and dark-white-pop of color.

Something to Fix: I’d be remiss to not ask for block numbers.* But here’s something else to add to the wishlist: yellow-black-white throwbacks. And speaking of throwbacks, can’t think of a lighter lift than adopting gray masks for the block number game(s).

Dream Super Bowl: Steelers (Black-White-Yellow) at Lions (Silver-Blue-Silver). The Phil Luckett Special.

*Though their italics have grown on me.

While three of these four looks have origins in the 90s, this tier goes beyond a start date. The Dream of the 90s is ineffable and difficult to fully articulate, but something about these teams keep it alive: unique color schemes and logos, adherence to traditional design principles with a willingness to push boundaries, and bold showcasing of team identity.

The Bucs wardrobe is in a near perfect place. Top-shelf primaries paired with throwbacks that bring down the house. An aesthetic sweet spot and the recipe for wardrobe success throughout the sports world. People rightfully love the Creamsicles, but I still don’t think the primaries are given the respect they’re due. From helmet and sleeve logos to the color scheme to the double outlined numbers, Tampa Bay can - mostly - do no wrong.

The pewter bodysuit is the lone blemish holding the Bucs back from permanent Top 5 residency. And they could use more red uniform games.

Something to Fix: I’m especially over the Pewter bodysuit after the Bucs and Colts had the audacity to give us a pewter/royal color-on-color trainwreck.

Dream Super Bowl: Ravens (Black-White-Purple) at Buccaneers (Pewter-Red-White).

Black and purple still has no business looking this good together, and Baltimore keeps pulling it off. The Ravens broke into the Top 10 last year, and they aren’t leaving any time soon. Black-purple-white continues to be one of the best outfits in the league. And I’m forever a sucker for a helmet logo that explores the space horizontally.*

The purple alternate helmet, paired with the Color Rush uniform, is the latest addition. Must admit, I’ve long thought Baltimore does not need an alternate helmet shell. But I love being proved wrong. The helmet looks sharp, and the gold elements - especially the mask - justify pairing it with a Color Rush uniform that never clicked with the primary helmet. Not crazy about a purple bodysuit in principle, but the Ravens made it pop.

Something to Fix: No stripe on black pants still drives me nuts. Make that tweak, and we’re cooking with gas (perhaps even a Top 5 case).

Dream Super Bowl: Ravens (Black-Purple-White) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue).

*Ravens have one of the best.

Like the Bucs, the Eagles are a team that understands the blueprint for success. Sharp primaries paired with elite throwbacks.* They even go further than Tampa Bay with a serviceable alternate.** Helmet and sleeve logos are both in best-in-class conversations. And Midnight Green has never looked better.

Of all the teams on this list, Philadelphia taught me the most about my uniform evaluation journey and helped shape my view of NFL wardrobes. Not long ago, I criticized the Midnight Green birds and - by extension - everything else about their wardrobe. It was all rooted in my desire for a permanent return of their Kelly Green** uniforms. But seeing them return as throwbacks last year clicked everything into place for me. Honor the past - whether by incorporating elements in a Modern Classic redesign or faithfully bringing back a throwback as an alternate - but embrace the future.*** The Eagles always embodied this approach, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to catch up.**** But I now appreciate them for what they are: a Top 10 uniform team.

Something to Fix: Guessing the majority of people would revert to the old wordmark.  But I don’t hate the new one (though I’d say the old one better fits the wardrobe).  I could get behind Philly scrapping black altogether (using charcoal and gray instead). But my tweak would be to match the collar to the jersey (or otherwise slim it down). While Philly’s jumbo contrast collars are less egregious given closeness in shades between black and midnight green, removing or slimming would improve the look.

Dream Super Bowl: Steelers (Black-White-Yellow) at Eagles (Green-Green-White). Battle for the Keystone State.

*Pausing for a moment to appreciate those Kelly Green beauties. Carry on.

**The black uniform (with black helmet) is high up my blackout uni shortlist.  The green helmet - which they are stuck with under the two-shell rule - looks off when paired with a black unitard.  But with the three-shell rule coming next year, I expect the issue to resolve.  Meanwhile, rooting for Philly to dip into their past to give us green-black-green or green-black-white this season.

***To be clear, not saying I want classic/traditional teams making changes (see the Browns hypermodernization lesson above). I have tremendous respect for teams that adhere to the same wardrobe across generations. But the league shouldn’t adopt carbon copies of every team’s look from 1985. Keep advancing the ball.

****Shoutout the ending of Silver Linings Playbook. Had to work in a Philly-area movie.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the biggest riser in the 2024 Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings. I’m always optimistic, but never in a million years would I have predicted the Texans to jump this high this offseason. Yet here we are. Houston ascended out of generic mediocrity with a wardrobe that exudes those Dream of the 90s attributes outlined above. Nothing was wrong with the original uniforms, but I found everything about them painfully generic. Traditional maybe but also soulless and forgettable.

The new wardrobe takes the original framework and gives it a superhuman injection of unique team identity. All starts with the color palette shade change. New Deep Steel Blue (darkest navy in the league) paired with New Battle Red (brightest red in the league) is the masterstroke that unlocks everything. At its core, this wardrobe works by showcasing contrast of dark navy and white with pops of vibrant red. I’ve previously discounted helmet/jersey color match teams, but not here; I’m mesmerized by the dark navy.*

The good goes well beyond the color palette.** Primary sleeves - horns with white and logo with blue - are both fantastic (and the same sleeve duality looks sharp on both alternates***). Red player names on blue are delightful. White beveled numbers on blue are my favorite subtle detail of the uniform offseason. Blue perforated numbers on white are a nice changeup (again allowing red to stand out as an accent - this time on the pants). And, speaking of pants, stripes appear on every uniform. The Texans are a top-notch football team - uniforms and all. What a time to be alive.

Something to Fix: The H-Town alternate is the most underwhelming part of the wardrobe.  The H logo is a home run for sideline apparel.  But going all navy is a miss.  With that said, hard to fault Houston. Word on the street is the Texans were forced to “compromise” as to the amount of H-Town Blue.  Understanding this restraint, kudos to Houston for still giving fans what they wanted.  And in terms of something to fix, let me volunteer this: can we stop the unending sensitivity around anything light blue in Houston?

Dream Super Bowl: Texans (Blue-White-Blue) at Lions (Silver-Blue-Silver). Let these redesign risers fight it out.

*Texans tap into how the Steelers make helmet/jersey color match shine - an extremely dark base color. Where Pittsburgh uses black, Houston uses dark navy. Where Pittsburgh uses pops of vibrant yellow, Houston uses pops of vibrant red. To fully get on Pittsburgh’s level, Houston should unleash dark-dark-color and dark-white-color combos of navy-navy-red and navy-white-red.

**Comps to the current Falcons primaries drove me nuts all offseason.  Outside of macro dark color-red accent similarities, couldn’t be more different.  But the comp dances around why the Texans are this high: a spiritual similarity to the black-number 90s Falcons. I’ve long said the Falcons have Top 10 potential.  Houston just realized it sooner than Atlanta.  All is fair in love and wardrobes.

***The Battle Red uniform is the star of the alternate show.  The horned helm with the red chrome mask is immediately one of my favorites.  If they can resist the red bodysuit and work in white pants, Texans red will be one of the best alternates in football.

The Top 11 is very much my subjective curation of wardrobes.  Next eight squads are objective classics. Hard to find a fair-minded uniform fan that would have any of these looks in the Bottom 10.  And I’m not going to give any side eye to anyone having these teams at the top of their list.

Something I still believe: if you polled 100 random football fans about their favorite NFL uniform, more people would pick the Raiders than any other team. With the most iconic color scheme in the league, I will forever hold the silver-black-silver outfit in high esteem. Since the move to Las Vegas, I’ve called for the Raiders to standardize silver* numbers on the white jersey. And until they do so, I’ll feel like this wardrobe is leaving some meat on the bone.

Important to highlight that the Raiders minor drop in rank this year is no fault of their own. The league is stacked aesthetically, and it’s only getting better. My dream is to one day be forced to stick a team with an objectively good wardrobe at No. 32. Can hang ‘em up at that point.

Something to Fix: See silver numbers above.

Dream Super Bowl: Raiders (Silver-White-Silver) at 49ers (Gold-Red-Gold). The Burl Ives Special.

*Nevada is the Silver State.

Said it before and I’ll say it again: Buffalo’s current primaries are the best in their franchise history. Helmet logo is sleek, iconic, and explores the space horizontally. Color palette offers ample contrast. And to Buffalo’s credit, blueberry unitard games were greatly reduced last season - from 10 to three.* But those navy outlines have overstayed their welcome.

This iteration of Buffalo should be locked into a top-half ranking. But there’s not enough room in the Top 10 for everyone (consistent theme this tier), and others will climb by if the Bills stagnate and don’t address the easy-to-fix navy flaw.

Something to Fix: Big thing missing in Buffalo is a throwback.  White throwbacks haven’t appeared since 2020.  And we’re overdue for the red-helmet look.

Dream Super Bowl: Bills (White-White-White) at Buccaneers (Pewter-Red-Pewter).

*Admittedly, I’d prefer zero.

Packers still make green and yellow shine, and that logo is immediately recognizable by both diehards and casuals.  But they are the ultimate embodiment of high floor/low ceiling.  In a league with this many solid wardrobes, they’re likely to keep drifting toward the middle.

Big offseason news was the addition of the white helmet paired with white jersey and pants.  No one appreciates an icy white look more than me, but what I’ve always appreciated about the white jersey-white pants Packers is the pop of yellow from the helmet.  This whiteout should still come in handy, but I’ll never understand not using yellow on the helmet stripe to mirror jersey and pant stripes.*** Hoping White Cheddar doesn’t spell the end of yellow-white-white, but it’s on my radar.

Something to Fix: The green throwback uniform is a textbook case of “just because it’s a throwback doesn’t mean it’s good.”  I’d scrap it altogether.  When your primary green uniforms are timeless classics, why waste a game with substandard green throwbacks?

Dream Super Bowl: Chiefs (Red-White-White) at Packers (Yellow-Green-Yellow). Party like it’s Super Bowl I.

Credit where credit is due: the new Jets wardrobe is a massive improvement with no shortage of things to like. The switch to the white mask* alone jettisoned** New York to top-half status. The “Jets” logo/wordmark always looked great on a helmet, the number font is traditional but sleek, and the NY logo on the helmet bumper is a classy touch.

The blackout alternate remains totally unnecessary and toward the bottom of my blackout uni rankings. But the secret weapon - and saving grace - of this wardrobe is the surprise “Classic” throwback. Kudos to the Jets for respecting the Summer of Throwbacks and delaying its release until well after the redesign reveal.

I wanted to put the Jets higher; I just couldn’t do it. Unwillingness to break away from strict adherence to the throwback design is what ultimately holds the Jets back. The jumbo contrast collar - especially on the green primary - is incredibly distracting. Drawing focus like a blackhole, it drowns out the excellent white mask and detracts from other white elements better suited to shine. When seeing a uniform, I want the mask to pop or the logo to pop or the stripes to pop or the numbers to pop. What I don’t want is the collar to pop*** to such a degree that it negates all of the above. To be clear, I have no issue with collar contrast as a subtle accent. But the fully-filled-in contrast collar of the current template is all consuming, and the Jets easily could’ve slimmed it down similar to the Broncos or Texans (while still adhering to the spirit of the throwback design).

Enough about collars. The Jets jumped 15 spots in the rankings and deserve their flowers. Gang Green is finally out of the NFL’s aesthetic basement.

Something to Fix: See collar discourse above.

Dream Super Bowl: Jets (Green-White-White) at 49ers (Gold-Red-Gold).

*Nonsensical black masks can hold a wardrobe back.  But the Bucs and Eagles somehow pull it off.  While it’s partially due to other black elements in their uniforms, it’s mostly due to their wardrobes being otherwise top notch.

**Pun intended.

***Put this in a time machine and drop it off in 2006.

Chicago is still an undeniably well dressed team.  Timeless and classic, the primaries have stood the test of time.

But the orange helmet still haunts this wardrobe - one of the biggest unforced errors in recent memory.  The super-striped throwback somewhat cleanses the alternate palette, but their radioactive mistake keeps them stuck in this middle range. And it’s preposterous we haven’t seen white-on-white since 2009.*

Something to Fix: Ditch the orange helmet. But don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. Orange jersey pairs sharply with navy helmet.

Dream Super Bowl: Colts (White-White-White) at Bears (Navy-Navy-White). One of the better Super Bowl uniform matchups of the last 30 years.

*Also impractical. White jersey-white pants is a handy tool for every wardrobe to avoid clash and, in the Bears case especially, guard against dark and dreary affairs.

I’ll always defend the Colts primaries. Sure there are gray masks and black swooshes, but Indianapolis pulls off a sharp scheme featuring only blue and white. There’s simplicity and elegance to the Colts that works, and that helmet - with an underrated logo and single blue stripe - doesn’t get enough credit.

But to be honest, I’m still not over the Indiana Nights alternate.* These negative feelings are compounded by the Microsoft Snap Tool throwback helmet. Plus we can’t forget the aforementioned pewter/royal color-on-color travesty. Stated differently, Colts primaries aren’t the issue here. It’s the extra noise. And while these rankings are primary-dominant, these things can’t be overlooked when wardrobe margins are this slim. Harsh? Sure. Fair? Probably not. But it’s my list, and it’s what it is.**

Something to Fix: No issue with Colts gray masks (and gray masks generally), but it’s time to shake up the mojo. Here’s a wild idea: white masks with the blue jersey and blue masks with the white jersey.

Dream Super Bowl: Colts (White-White-White) at Packers (Yellow-Green-Yellow).

*Still hasn’t seen an Indiana night.

**This entire tier is separated by razors’ edges. And Bears, Colts, and Jets ended up virtual ties for me - all deserving of a top-half spot. Jets “Classic” throwback and redesign season style points*** pushed them to the top. Bears and Colts alts cancelled each other out, but Chicago beat out Indy when comparing throwbacks.

***Still get a kick out of New York announcing the new wardrobe immediately after the Super Bowl. And can’t forget the surprise throwback reveal.

I’ve always been lower on the Chiefs than most.  Forever cemented as a can’t-miss-classic but Kansas City will always be kings of clash to me.  Red helmet-red jersey combo works with some teams but can be utterly incompatible with others.*

Can’t be too mad, Chiefs fans.  While kings of clash in my book, you’re also on-field kings of the NFL - in my book and everyone else’s (if they’re being honest).

Something to Fix: Keep that redpocalypse bodysuit in the closet.

Dream Super Bowl: Chiefs (Red-Red-White) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue).

*Browns immediately come to mind.  Two strong individual uniforms that don’t pair well - especially with Cleveland’s orange pants.

Hangups, uncertainties, and a few glaring flaws keep these teams out of the top half of the rankings.  But I’m in on the big picture approaches. With fixes and better decisions, there’s potential to climb future iterations of this board.

For the first time since 1997, the Broncos redesigned their uniforms. I continue to believe initial hate for this wardrobe is overblown. While I was Team Modern Classic Orange Crush, I’m on board in this world where navy and orange remain and Orange Crush returns as a faithfully-executed throwback. As I’ve said before, navy and orange is a solid scheme.  Angry horse* is better suited for the helmet.  Number font invokes prior font while removing the wonkiness. Satin/matte helmet finish works with adequate contrast between helmet and jersey. And it features one of the most unique helmet stripes I’ve seen. While jarring at first, I see the vision: reminds me of Washington’s back-of-helmet feather from the 50s/60s.  Plus player numbers beneath the stripe look fantastic. Primaries got flack for “looking like the Chargers”, but I don’t see the connection beyond unique sleeve design sans shoulders numbers. I do find humor in the comp as a pejorative.  Chargers are atop these rankings with the best look in football.  If a team emulates their design on a macro level, they’re doing something right.  Goes for the pant stripes as well.  I’m a pant stripe maximalist.  But no issue with teams trying something different so long as it’s a true stripe** and Denver’s approach fits the rest of the uniform. Collar has a slim orange outline, which effectively provides collar contrast without being distracting.

But this is Flawed Good for a reason. Perforated numbers can be done well (e.g., Cardinals, Lions, and Texans), but I didn’t need “dissipating” perforations here. And while I appreciate wanting to remind opponents about playing at altitude, “5280” on the helmet bumper is a bit too on above the nose.  An alternate mountain logo would’ve been a better bumper option.

All in all, content where Denver landed.  They certainly haven’t shown enough to rise above the Classics, but they have my attention and earned the front of this tier with the glorious return of Orange Crush throwbacks.

Something to Fix: White alternate helmet is sharp on its own, but I’m concerned it’s going to be paired with a navy unitard.  If the Broncos go white or orange pants instead, the alternate will be better served.  Rooting for navy-navy-orange in the future.

Dream Super Bowl: Broncos (Navy-Orange-White) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue).

*Love the D-horse in a nostalgic way.  But being honest, the old horse looks a bit emaciated.  If up to me, would’ve gone with a modernized D-horse as the primary mark while retaining the angry horse head as the secondary mark and helmet logo.

**No wordmarks like the hypermodern Browns.

Like Philadelphia, the Rams taught me a lot about uniform wardrobe opinions. Was reactionary upon initial release in 2020 - unable to look past the bone or gradients. But now, with Los Angeles eligible for a redesign beginning in 2025, I implore them to not make wholesale changes. Remove gradient elements, and this wardrobe easily leaps into the top half. Color palette may be the best in the league, the helmet* surpasses the original, and the blue-white-yellow modern throwback is Triple Mismatch Club royalty.

Ignore the haters, Rams. Stay the course. Tweaks over teardowns.

Something to Fix: Removing gradient numbers sets the blue primary free, but I’ve covered that ad nauseam. We’re due for an alternate. Personally rooting for yellow jerseys to tap into Elroy Hirsch aesthetic but would also dig the Fearsome Foursome colorway.

Dream Super Bowl: Texans (Navy-Navy-White) at Rams (Blue-White-Yellow).

*Shades of blue and yellow and the excellent color match facemask make the helmet my favorite in Rams history. The split-horn grew on me, and the current pointed end screams barbarian warlord while the old curly-Q end screams follow the yellow brick road.

Like Detroit, the Cardinals put my mind in a pretzel given the dichotomy between their primaries. But the distinction is much greater for Arizona. Starting with the good, the Cardinals rock one of the best white uniforms in football.* Vibrant pop of the logo and red accents plus the masterful incorporation of silver allows the white outfit to be this wardrobe’s star. And don’t sleep on the Ninjas, which make a case for best blackout uniform.

Moving to the bad, the red unitard is a total miss. Dreadful practice pants and white-red-red make for a painfully bottom heavy look. And the red jersey wordmark is far too large. Mixing in white pants with the red jersey would do wonders for the Cardinals, and I’m giving them one more year of benefit of the doubt to make things right. White uniform would land them around 13 and red uniform would land them around 29, so the result here ends up meeting in the middle. But if Arizona delivers another season exclusively filled with red unitards, prepare for the Cardinals to tumble down next year’s rankings.

Something to Fix: Shrink the wordmark down to Bengals/Lions/Texans territory.

Dream Super Bowl: Chargers (White-Blue-Yellow) at Cardinals (White-White-White). Admittedly cheating here with Arizona in white. But could see it happening following a Wild Card run.

*I’d fully support the Cardinals becoming white-uni dominant.

Each of the preceding teams should press forward with existing wardrobes outside of tweaks here and there. But from this point on, it’s time for redesigns. While this tier technically fits into Flawed Good, they’re sequestered here to send a message: rip off the bandaid, take the plunge, and realize full aesthetic potential.

I still appreciate Carolina’s wardrobe: great colors, big cat logo, and unique striping. The change to Process Blue and going from “ring” shoulder stripes to “cat scratch” shoulder stripes were welcome improvements last offseason, and I enjoyed the debut of silver-white-blue. But on-the-field effect was less impactful than hoped; small shoulder numbers and jumbo contrast collars continue to be drags. And so, while I’ve long been a Panthers redesign holdout, I’m officially open to a change.

Black helmet works in principle* and offers redesign potential.** Pair it with the blue jersey, better superimpose*** the logo, perfect those “cat scratch” stripes, and remove or slim the collar to make room for larger shoulder numbers (if unwilling to remove). With these upgrades, Panthers can trend upward.

Something to Fix: In line with points above, let’s give black-blue-black a test run this season. Black-black-blue would also be a sharp member of the dark-dark-color club.

Dream Super Bowl: Bengals (Orange-White-White) at Panthers (Silver-Black-Silver). Let the big cats fight.

*Two years with it and still can’t figure out superimposing the logo.

**For the record, no objection to retaining primary silver helmets so long as other changes are implemented.

***Use a clear decal.

This drop is admittedly an overreaction. But I’ve begrudgingly put up with removal of gray pants for two years now without a dramatic effect on their ranking. Throwing away a top-shelf combo of home and away throwbacks to make room for a hodge-podge monstrosity frankensteined together from the 20s and 30s is a bridge too far. I understand wanting to honor 100 seasons of the New York Football Giants. But I’ll always call a spade a spade: the Century Red uniform - with its archaic paneling and khaki pants - just stinks.

I’m higher on Giants primaries than others, but - stop me if you’ve heard this - gray pants are sorely missed.* I am now fully on board with New York returning to the Parcells Era uniforms. And I won’t be surprised if it happens sooner than later.**

Something to Fix: Have I mentioned gray pants?

Dream Super Bowl: Browns (Orange-White-Orange) at Giants (Blue-Blue-White).

*Especially hinders the white primary.

**Seeing the reception to the Jets redesign, wheels are likely turning in the Giants front office. I’m all for Meadowlands teams settling into 20-year rotations between their classic looks.

I acknowledge I’m lower on the Vikings than others. Throwbacks are delightful, and I enjoyed the Winter Warrior addition to the wardrobe. But this Vikings uniform era never clicked for me.* I like that the league has some satin/matte helmets for variety, but the Vikings show where satin/matte can stumble without adequate contrast - their shade of purple still looks off despite a color match improvement in 2019. With the Jets returning to a white mask, Minnesota takes the mantle for most unnecessary black mask in football.**

A big gripe with the Vikings is the number font; I’m all for a non-block font when done right, but the mismatched*** numbers from Minnesota create incredibly distracting negative space.  Another sticking point is the sleeves.  Instead of an eye-catching sleeve logo like the Northman, Minnesota underwhelms with a “Viking ship” sleeve stripe.  I’ve mockingly referred to it as the door-stop stripe, but I acknowledge a boat-like appearance - problem is it looks more like the sawed-off back end of a canoe rather than a longboat.  If you’re going for Viking ship iconography, give us some vestige of a dragon head.

Something to Fix: I’m hardest on teams that have the most potential.  The Vikings still have one of the best and most unique helmet logos in football.  Fix the font, put the Northman back on the sleeve, and give us a white or gray mask, and we’re cooking with gas.

Dream Super Bowl: Broncos (Navy-White-Orange) at Vikings (Purple-Purple-White). Something will always be off in the Universe until we get the Super Bowl XXXIII we deserved.

*To be clear, much better than their 2006-2012 look - the worst in their history and among the worst of the Panelist Era.

**You’re never going to sell me on its existence due to a sliver in the helmet logo. Plus there’s nothing that could justify its existence over a white or gray mask.

***Not opposed to mismatched first and second digits in principle.  Texans do it right with subtlety and without wrecking negative space. At least the Winter Warrior alternate features a more palatable number font with an ice motif I can get behind.

I’ll keep saying this until the Dolphins take the plunge: it doesn’t have to be hard. Their primaries aren’t necessarily bad - more like soulless husks of what once was. With great potential comes great expectations, and the Dolphins can’t quite deliver.*

Ironically enough, Miami has what I’m looking for on paper. Modern Classic primaries with a horizontal helmet logo and elite home and away throwbacks. But they are a great example of the nuance to all this. Execution is key, and things that look good for one team aren’t always going to work for another. For such a vibrant color palette, Dolphins somehow find a way to fall flat. And while there’s no issue with being a white-uni-dominant team, only one appearance of aqua primaries last year is unacceptable. Back to the drawing board: take inspiration from the minty mid-90s look or the drop shadow delights (with the current aqua shade).

Something to Fix: Adding orange to the helmet stripe would be the best short term fix.

Dream Super Bowl: Dolphins (White-Aqua-White) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue).

*Helmet stripe and number font are especially underwhelming.

Another dated holdout from the hypermodern 2010s. Time has come for the Seahawks to permanently embrace royal, green, and silver and leave navy and neon behind. The sleeve/shoulder/chest design is busy and pales in comparison to the aesthetic nuclear fusion offered by the logo/stripe hybrid on the throwback. Speaking of atomic energy, my eyes are still recovering from the last time I bore* witness to the radioactive neon unitard.

As suggested above, throwbacks hold the key to a much-needed Seattle redesign. But I’m hoping the Seahawks resist the urge to just port over the original. A Modern Classic update retaining the angry Seahawk logo is the way.

Something to Fix: Still can’t stand the wrapping paper helmet stripe. But perhaps I could stomach the carbon fiber shark tooth design if it didn’t start out so broad in front and taper to a narrow point in the back.

Dream Super Bowl: Browns (Orange-White-Orange) at Seahawks (Navy-Navy-Gray).

*Or should I say Bohr? Nice little nuclear physicist reference for ya.

There’s only one place to start with the Jags: the glorious 90s throwbacks are BACK.* And they’re better than ever.** The big cat on the sleeves, the number font, and a simplified logo that sleekly utilizes negative space to blend perfectly into the black helmet: what’s not to like?

Jacksonville’s secret sauce - as reflected in both the throwbacks and their primaries - is an elite color scheme.  Teal does no wrong, and the Jags are always best when it’s the star of the show (or at the very least featured in some capacity).  However, the Jaguars have a bad habit of rocking looks entirely omitting teal from the jersey and pants.  And this issue compounds with the addiction to practice pants.  Rooting for the throwbacks to pave the way for a Modern Classic future.

Something to Fix: More black-black-teal. Unfortunately, the white helmet likely signals its end. As noted below, having a hard time seeing how the white helmet fits in this wardrobe.

Dream Super Bowl: Jaguars (Black-Teal-White) at Cowboys (Silver-White-Blue).

*Lean into this look full time and Jacksonville will return to something they shaped: the Dream of the 90s.

**Good place to remind everyone that these rankings are mostly influenced by primaries. The Jags throwbacks did at least keep Jacksonville out of the bottom tier.  That said, the white helmet - while fine on its own - was an unnecessary addition if paired with the black jersey or, even worse, the black unitard.

The following teams deserve their own place of shame. While capable of landing in Flawed Good and needing to Take the Plunge, consistently baffling combo decisions landed them here. I’m not mad, just disappointed.

Every year it’s the same. I’m patient. I stick up for them. I wait for them to finally come to their senses and primarily pair gray pants with the navy jersey. And it never happens. I thought we turned a corner when gray pants were first worn with the navy jersey back in 2022. But New England just can’t quit that navy unitard. The obsession has gone on long enough. The post-Brady come-down era for the Patriots has appropriately been defined by uniform decisions that are equally disappointing. And now the Pats are the biggest fallers in the 2024 Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings.

With a new coach and new franchise quarterback, let’s make it a change triumvirate. I personally would invoke 90s royal blue - shadow stripes and all - with Pat the Patriot in reserve as throwback royalty. But I’d take just about anything at this point - with the exception of the dynasty era uniforms.*

Something to Fix: Not always wearing gray pants with the navy jersey is frustrating enough. But not wearing them with the white jersey even once is maddening. Plus missing out on shoulder/pant stripe match.

Dream Super Bowl: You know what? Until the Patriots change their uniforms, I’m all set. We’ve had a life’s worth of underwhelming Super Bowl uniform matchups featuring the Patriots with some level of navy.

*People use Super Bowl-colored glasses when looking back at those things. Panelist Era schlock.

Took some heat for how low I had New Orleans last year, but I stand by it and then some.  Their jumbo collar may be the worst in the league - especially on the black uniform.  Vegas gold appears more washed out each year.*  And they can’t quit both black and white practice pant unitards.  The Saints aversion to gold pants will never make sense to me.  Adding insult to injury, every year they tease us in the preseason.  And then poof, they’re gone.  Wearing primary gold pants just once last season is outrageous (down from only twice in 2022).

The return of the gold helmet with the Color Rush throwback was a pleasant surprise.  But the black helmet still is an all-time miss.**  And the black throwback has a three-gold problem.

Something to Fix: Need to figure out the shades of gold.  Pick one and stick with it.  Vegas gold is too washed out, but I’d still take it over mustard.  New Orleans should take a page out of Vanderbilt’s book - perfect blend of old and metallic gold.

Dream Super Bowl: Chargers (White-White-White) at Saints (Gold-Black-Gold).

*So much so that I have a habit of referring to it as champagne gold.

**Took the Seahawks wrapping paper stripe and made it worse.

As noted up top, we’ve reached an incredible place. 29 of 32 teams offer workable wardrobes - varying from elite to serviceable with most outstanding issues reserved to uniform combo choices. But these last three are hopeless.

Along with the team directly below, the Falcons are the last bastion of the scourge that is was the Panelist Era. But Atlanta’s off-putting elements are not limited to dreadful side panels. League-worst font, jumbo ATL wordmark, bit-too-busy logo, and an out-of-nowhere chrome mask: all things holding back a team with Top 10 potential. At least the gradient nightmare has been scrapped, and we get another year of three excellent throwback games.*

Something to Fix: Removing red and some other clutter from the logo transforms it into a perfect hybrid of old and new.

Dream Super Bowl: Chargers (White-White-Yellow) at Falcons (Black-Black-White).

*Must say I do miss the black-black-white throwback. Would love to see it mixed in once a year.

Setting aside an underrated color palette and the Oilers throwbacks, there’s not much going for the Titans aesthetically. Navy helmet curbs any semblance of contrast - both within the helmet and the rest of the wardrobe. Underarm panels* are the Panelist Era’s last stand. The two-tone gray “sword” yoke is both cheesy and a downgrade from the dated yoke on the original Titans uniforms.** And the spindly font is too slender and does nothing to alleviate the cheesiness.

Something to Fix: If a return to the Tennessee Oilers remains out of the question, let’s shoot closer to the originals for inspiration.

Dream Super Bowl: Titans (Navy-White-Light Blue) at 49ers (Gold-Red-Gold).

*Uncanny resemblance to do-not-disturb door hangers.

**Underrated now thanks to the current train wreck. Classic case of careful what you wish for.

To put it plainly, Commanders are still the worst. But as a sign of the league’s ever-improving aesthetic, even Washington got better this offseason with the addition of gold pants. Unfortunately, like the other pants, they’re the practice kind. Burgundy uniform is the best of the bunch but still underwhelming. And the white primary and black alternate are worst in class respectively.

Something to Fix: Pant stripes on the gold pants and the burgundy uniform becomes serviceable. But the other outfits keep the idea of starting over top of mind. Team Red Wolves forever.

Dream Super Bowl: Bills (White-White-Blue) at Commanders (Burgundy-Burgundy-Yellow).

You’re Still Here? It’s Over. Go Home.

That’s a wrap. The 2024 Uniform Wardrobe Power Rankings are set in stone.

While I’m sure none of you disagree, come yell at me anyway on X at NFL Fashion Advice (@fashion_nfl).

Coming Attractions.

Futures issue next week. Then regular season programming kicks off with the Thursday Opener.

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